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(1 - 27) of 27 OFCS Rating: 41% Rotten Page   1   2/4 "It's hard to escape the feeling that this is one film that already has its eye on the next chapter."   Slant Magazine   Andrew Schenker "John C. Reilly excels in a role I thought couldn't possibly be appropriate for him. It's a nice change of pace for this fine actor."   ReelTalk Movie Reviews   Betty Jo Tucker 3/5 "feels like something that should have been a whole lot better"   Filmcritic.com   Bill Gibron C- "Labored and often tedious, the picture is a friendly stab at Burtonesque macabre antics, but director Paul Weitz is in way over his head trying to juggle huge portions of the grotesque and the epic."   BrianOrndorf.com   Brian Orndorf C- "Scattershot and comically unbalanced, "Cirque du Freak" is a wannabe horror film that feels like it was filmed underwater."   ColeSmithey.com   Cole Smithey "Not a thing in this movie is subtle, from its cheesy special effects to its by-the-numbers storyline to its cardboard cutout characters."   PopMatters   Cynthia Fuchs 2.5/5 "A movie about the undead that never really makes it out of the grave."   eFilmCritic.com   Dan Lybarger 2.5/4 "...a watchable (yet undeniably forgettable) endeavor."   Reel Film Reviews   David Nusair 2.5/4 "There is an undoubted vision behind the cameras, one that is bound to only crystallize if the powers-that-be give this potential new franchise the nurturing it deserves."   DustinPutman.com   Dustin Putman B- "Keeps the tone just dark enough to be effective without being too scary, and always funny but not cartoonish."   EricDSnider.com   Eric D. Snider D+ "All winded wind-up and no dazzling follow-through. Hogwart's wizards have absolutely nothing to fear from this bunch of sad second-raters."   One Guy's Opinion   Frank Swietek 2/5 "Is it too much to ask that a narrative film have a beginning, a middle, and an end?"   ReelViews   James Berardinelli 2/5 "But there's a thin sheen of flop sweat on The Vampires Assistant, as if it's thinking its hoped-for sequels... it's like being on a first date and having the other party reach across the table ... and ask you if you want chicken or fish for the guests at"   Redbox   James Rocchi "Parental Content Review"   Screen It!   Jim Judy 4/5 "The funny bits are amusing, the action entertaining, the themes simple, the promise of future tales tantalizing, and the overall feel of the movie is more charming than epic or scary."   Cinerina   Karina Montgomery 2.5/5 "The movie avoids the darker aspects of the vampire myth, and like the books, it's more into horror than hormones."   Film-Forward.com   Kent Turner 3.5/5 "The Vampire's Assistant beats the pants off of Twilight as a cool teenage vampire movie, and I consider that to be totally awesome."   7M Pictures   Kevin Carr "A colossal bore of a teen fantasy movie ... crammed with trite, prepackaged lessons."   Horror Hacker   Maitland McDonagh 3/4 "A darkly funny and fun macabre fantasy that constantly winks at itself and expectations."   Mark Reviews Movies   Mark Dujsik "It all feels very small and surprisingly indifferent to its own potential magic, like the pilot for a TV series that might find its groove in its second season but isn't anywhere near there yet."   Flick Filosopher   MaryAnn Johanson 1.5/4 "Starts off strongly, which only makes its drastic eventual decline that much more disappointing. What could have been a really quirky, edgy teen horror comedy instead turns into a crushing bore."   Aisle Seat   Mike McGranaghan B+ "It true to the tone of the series, a combination of teenage angst and outrageous grotesquery, with the recognition that sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference."   Beliefnet   Nell Minow 2/5 "At the very least, such triteness will dredge up a desire to keep the Weitz family -- brother Chris was responsible for the leaden Golden Compass debacle -- away from the first chapters of big-budget franchises."   Time Out New York   Nick Schager 2.5/5 "This light approach keeps it entertaining, but it also prevents it from being a classic."   Shadows on the Wall   Rich Cline B- "Between this and having to sit through New Moon, I'll take the freaks every time."   Mania.com   Rob Vaux "For all the shadows and nocturnal imagery there is no darkness to the story, no fear of loss of life or soul..."   Seanax.com   Sean Axmaker 4/5 "Reilly’s Crepsley makes both the afterlife and any sequels to come equally appealing prospects."   Orlando Weekly   William Goss  (1 - 27) of 27 OFCS Rating: 41% Rotten Page   1