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(1 - 36) of 36 OFCS Rating: 28% Rotten Page   1   2/4 "Fans of the cartoon will see little resemblance to their nostalgic favorite here, while the uninitiated may be hard-pressed to find any thrills they haven't seen before."   ReelTalk Movie Reviews   A. J. Hakari 1/5 "A lively, yet tedious, assault on the senses."   Cut Print Review   Anders Wotzke 2.5/5 "They're not heroes, or zeroes. Instead, these G.I.s are just so-so."   PopMatters   Bill Gibron 1.5/4 "Joe is the latest bloated float in Sommers's sad parade of cinematic shame...a glorified Cannon Films production with a nasty case of ADD."   Sci-Fi Movie Page   Brian Orndorf 2/5 "a so utterly disposable comic-book film that one forgets it before it ends"   Filmcritic.com   Chris Barsanti 2/5 "This is an action film highlight reel, with any sense of story or purpose shoved to the corners."   eFilmCritic.com   David Cornelius D- "The real reason Paramount Pictures didn't screen "G.I. Joe" for critics: they were afraid of reviews like this one."   EDGE Boston   David Foucher 2/4 "A typically frenetic actioner from Stephen Sommers..."   Reel Film Reviews   David Nusair 1.5/4 "Viewers certainly won't be able to accuse G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra of lacking in sound and fervor, but that's just the problem. With nothing else to latch onto, the picture's ceaseless bombastic overload grows tedious rather than exciting."   DustinPutman.com   Dustin Putman C "At its best it's kind of fun, at its worst only kind of stupid."   EricDSnider.com   Eric D. Snider C+ "The definition of cinematic empty calories. It's like stuffing your face with cotton candy in lieu of dinner."   AMCtv.com   Eugene Novikov 3/4 "While I'll be the first to proclaim my distaste for Sommers, his vision of GI Joe is a lot of fun and pushes for some truly good chase scenes that take place in the air, land and sea..."   Cinema Crazed   Felix Vasquez Jr. D- "Practically a compendium of everything that's wrong with Hollywood action flicks nowadays--a non-stop orgy of cheesy, chaotic CGI effects unencumbered by any human dimension."   One Guy's Opinion   Frank Swietek 2/4 "There's an expectation that the audience will be invested in the relationship between Duke and Ana, but the poor writing and lack of chemistry between the principals fails to sell the romance as anything more substantial than a weak plot element."   ReelViews   James Berardinelli "We're glad we didn't pay full price for our movie tickets."   fantastiqueZINE   James O'Ehley 1/5 "Too violent for kids, too childish for grown-ups."   Common Sense Media   James Rocchi 4/10 "Un film bâclé qui n'obéit à aucune logique physique ou narrative"   Panorama   Jean-François Vandeuren 5/10 "Light entertainment with little to call memorable ... but at least therein exists some detectable evidence that the filmmakers had a soft spot for G.I. Joe and simply wanted to deliver its essence to the screen."   Window to the Movies   Jeffrey Chen "Parental Content Review"   Screen It!   Jim Judy "You get your money's worth and then some. As for the movie's stars, Tatum is suitably studly and Miller acquits herself quite well in her first turn in a blockbuster."   ReelTalk Movie Reviews   John P. McCarthy 3.0/4.0 "Dare I say it? Not only is G.I Joe a just apology by Steven Sommers for Van Helsing, it's also a reminder why Michael Bay's Transformers franchise is so forgettable."   MovieCrypt.com   Kevin A. Ranson 3/5 "Just put yourself in the mind-set of a ten-year-old boy watching this on a Saturday morning with a big bowl of frosted flakes in front of you. But don't expect anything more."   7M Pictures   Kevin Carr 2.5/4 "Not particulary good, but at times, the mayhem gets so over the top that it's hard not to have a big grin on your face."   Montreal Film Journal   Kevin N. Laforest "[M]y good Mr. Fanboy, I give you G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra, the world's first weaponized movie!"   Flick Filosopher   MaryAnn Johanson 1.5/4 "I don't mind if something blows up every five minutes so long as I'm given a reason to care why something is blowing up every five minutes."   Aisle Seat   Mike McGranaghan C "Basically Team America: World Police played straight and minus the political edge."   Lessons of Darkness   Nick Schager 1/5 "A Hasbro é o novo Rob Schneider de Hollywood."   Cinema em Cena   Pablo Villaca 1/5 "Watching "G.I. Joe" is like being slapped across the face with utility-grade meat for two hours and for all I know, that is exactly what screenwriters Stuart Beattie and David Elliot & Paul Lovett did to get themselves in the proper frame of mind."   eFilmCritic.com   Peter Sobczynski 4/5 "The filmmakers have harvested the coolest elements from blockbusters over the past five or six years"   Shadows on the Wall   Rich Cline D+ "Its pointless noise remains devoid of energy or fun, going from merely stupid August mayhem to a colossal waste of time."   Mania.com   Rob Vaux B "As a pure action movie, a popcorn movie if you will, G.I. Joe delivers the goods."   Laramie Movie Scope   Robert Roten 3.5/5 "There are legitimate nitpicks, to be sure, but this flick is too enthusiastically over-caffeinated to warrant much anger."   Cinematical   Scott Weinberg 1.5/4 "The action figures formerly known as "Real American Heroes" deserve something better than this artificial, live-action cartoon."   Charlotte Weekly   Sean O'Connell 1/10 "A bit like having pieces of metal thrown at your face in a wind tunnel."   Antagony & Ecstasy   Tim Brayton 3.5/5 "The Rise of Cobra will leap and bound like a solider in an accelerator suit to the hearts of anyone who's ever owned an action figure. Forget the overlong, extra-serious Transformers films; this is the finest brand of fun, big-budget schlock."   DVDTalk.com   Tyler Foster 3/4 "Despite the brou-ha-ha that has been talked about for months and currently about the state of the film, 'G.I Joe: Rise of the Cobra' is a pure adrenaline fantasy and fun ride."   BlackFilm.com   Wilson Morales  (1 - 36) of 36 OFCS Rating: 28% Rotten Page   1